Free Advice

I wrote this poem for my cousin Cathy’s fiance (at the time) before their wedding in 1999. It’s a little cheesy but I still think it’s cute.

I am here to tell you exactly what to do
So that your love will forever stay true
Don’t say things you might regret
Because believe me she’ll never forget
One night you’ll be snuggling and she’ll remember
Something stupid you said a year ago in December
She’ll bring it all back up and you’ll think it will be over soon
But the next thing you know, you’ll be sleeping in the guestroom
Let’s see, what else do I need to say?
Oh yes, you’ll have to remember every minute of every hour of your wedding day
And by all means do not forget the date
Or when you want her to put out you’ll have to wait…and wait…and wait
You will have to give in to her every little whim
And don’t forget her large family, you’ll have to get along with them
They were all the oysters and she was their pearl
Because don’t forget she was their only little girl
I guess this is all the advice I have for now
Oh! I hope I haven’t scared you out of saying your wedding vows!

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